Queen's Corner

downward spiral0
queenaccountant posted in Uncategorized on September 11th, 2010

Over the past say, month in a half, my life was slowly spiraling out of control.  One crises arose from the other and I ended up in a 5th Level Psychiatric Hospital, that was basically like jail.  It was horrible, but it was what I had to do to keep myself and others safe.  I have problems asking for help, so most of the time it ends up being almost too late, like it was last Sunday night.

I guess I should explain the preceding events, so let’s go back to say March when I began to not feel like myself.  Looking back, I believe that most of the problem at that time, was basically work, which I was handling pretty well until I had a med change in April.  I was switched to Topomax and it basically felt as if I had had a lobotomy.  I couldn’t even talk in complete sentences at times.  I’d only do half the work that I needed to do.  My thought processes were totally messed up.  Then after 3 weeks of complete hell, I woke up one morning with the worst back pain ever.

Short story, I go to the hospital, had CT scan and they found a mass on my kidney.  Go to GP, orders CT w/contrast, wait 4 weeks, get results, still no clue as to what the mass is. Go to Specialist, orders MRI, wait a week to find out that he has no clue, but would like to scan it again in 3 months (mid-June).  [Went out on medical leave at work].  Schedule appointment with a real specialist at Duke, waited 2 weeks.  More testing ensued.  Was told that I was going to have surgery in August, but was postponed twice, then just canceled the last time. [Had position at job terminated, near the end of Aug]. Had one last scan almost 2 weeks ago. {Started out-patient program the Friday before}. | insert last 2 weeks | And now I’m home.

More to come later.

Yesterday.0
queenaccountant posted in Uncategorized on July 30th, 2010

I usually take care of the finances, but since I’ve been sick and out of work, it’s really hard to actually care.  I’ve tried to get my husband to take over, but 90% of the time he forgets.  Thus, our POWER was turned off yesterday around 2:00 PM.  Apparently, the power company had come by, but I was asleep at the time.  When I finally woke up, I found everything to be off in the house.  The power company had left a nice little note on the door, that the power had been turned off, and we had to pay them $X to get it turned back on.  Needless to say, I called my husband to find out if he had paid them, and was like “no, but they haven’t set a disconnection notice, blah, blah, blah…..”  I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY he thinks that he can just pay bills whenever.  THERE’S A DUE DATE FOR A REASON.

Anyways, I guess I’ll be taking over the finances again, even though I feel like crap, b/c I don’t feel like sitting in the dark again for 6 hours, when it’s 90℉ outside.

Morning Coffee Part 11
queenaccountant posted in Coping, Happy, Morning Coffee, Mother, Therapy on July 28th, 2010

Is it just me, or is the first cup of coffee in the morning the best?

Yesterday, I had a therapy session, and was told that I need to work on being happy.  So today I will be reading the book “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?  Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers” by Karyl McBride, Ph. D.  I told my therapist that I had picked up this book, and his initial response was, “So are you and your mother pictured on the cover?”  LOL.  >.<  I ♥ my therapist for his humor that he has about the subject like me, b/c all you can do is laugh sometimes.

REMEMBER:  Be happy today.  It is perfectly normal to be happy.

Hello world!0
queenaccountant posted in ADHD, Bipolar, Coping, First Post, OCD on July 27th, 2010

Welcome to Queen’s Corner with Psych Central Blogs.  I will do my best to provide insightful information on Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, and OCD, since that is what I myself have to deal with daily.  I lead 3 support chats on Psych Central, which I find very fulfilling, because not only am I helping people, I’m reminding myself the proper ways to cope with life.

Sometimes even the best of us can forget how to cope, or don’t have the proper coping skills needed for that specific situation.  It is our job to seek out those proper coping skills, to learn them, and REMEMBER to use them.  (I have a hard part with the remembering part.)

I learned most of these coping skills while I had a 5 day stay in the hospital, followed by 7 weeks of Intensive Out-Patient Therapy, where I would go to the place for 6 hrs a day, with 4 sessions of group therapy.  I think that helped me the most out of all, because it was like 20 yrs of therapy condensed.  It also helped that at the IOP staff was amazing.  Since then, I have found a wonderful therapist, who I see every 1-2 weeks.

The current health situation I am in, prevents me to work at the time, so I have a lot of free time on my hands.  Most of my time I spend obsessing about what I’m going to do with my life, because I have to do something….but that’s another post.

I’ve been told that my humor is somewhat sadistic, and I can be a touch narcissistic at times.   I got the sadistic humor from my Dad, and the narcissism from my Mother.  It’s a great pair of assets to have in life. *sarcasm*

So welcome to my corner.  If you ever have a topic you would like to know more about, let me know, I love doing research.